Nick Tosches Hunts For the Source of His Desktop Photo
I sit on the couch and stare at that rustic path and those big old maple trees. By now I know the name of this particular wallpaper or background or whatever it is: Autumn. Moving to the desk and gazing more closely, I see a vague, dark, summoning something at the end of the path. A cabin? A covered bridge? A barn? I want to be there, for real, on that path, under those maples, moving slowly toward that dark, summoning something…
It’s a lead-pipe cinch, I figure. I’m a good detective. I’ve found opium dens in Vientiane; been granted interviews by cardinals, mafiosi, and sheikhs; discovered the meaning of “half-and-half” in the old song “Drinkin’ Wine, Spo-Dee-O-Dee”; conned the Vatican into bestowing a doctorate on me so that I could gain access to hiddenmost archives; deciphered the cryptic message Ezra Pound scrawled in his own copy of the Cantos while in the bughouse; tracked down and interviewed Phil Spector’s first wife, long presumed dead; charted my way to the sacred stone of the Great Mother, in Cyprus; gotten Charlotte Rampling’s cell-phone number; even come close to understanding the second page of my Con Ed bill. Finding out where a picture was taken—a picture plastered on millions of computer screens—seems a shot away…
Queries to Microsoft are redirected to the public-relations firm of Waggener Edstrom. The following e-mail exchange between a member of Team Autumn and a member of the Waggener Edstrom Rapid Response Team is representative:
“Hello, I’m a journalist writing about computer desktop artwork and I have a question—can you tell me the name of the photographer and the location depicted in the wallpaper image that comes with Windows XP entitled Autumn? The exact image is attached. I know this is an unusual request; any help you can give me will be greatly appreciated.”
“I am happy to look into this request. Please give me a chance to connect with colleagues about your inquiry. Will this be for an article, and if so, what is your deadline and how will the information be used?”
“Thanks for getting back to me so quickly! Yes, this is for an article. My deadline is July 10. The article is about the ways in which people’s desktop wallpaper effects their work habits. This particular photograph is my personal favorite, and I’m going to write about the ways in which it has inspired me and stimulated my imagination while writing. Finding out who took the picture, and, particularly, where this photograph was taken, will be very important elements of the piece. I will of course acknowledge your assistance on Microsoft’s behalf and will send tear sheets upon publication. Thanks again.”
“Hi. I am following up per your last e-mail and have connected with colleagues concerning your request. Unfortunately, we will not be able to participate in this opportunity. I apologize for the inconvenience. Best regards.”
“Can you tell me why not? Thanks.”
“Hi. Unfortunately, I was not in the decision process for this request and am not able to comment on my colleagues’ reasoning. I apologize for the inconvenience. I would suggest the Web for more information about the images. Best regards.”
I see people in black hoods and robes sitting round a table, bound by blood oath never to divulge the latitude and longitude of Autumn.
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Peter Burian wrote:
As the photographer who took the Autumn photo (used in Windows XP) I’m surprised that this has become such a big deal.
Two newspapers have also run articles about it, and a TV station (Global in Ontario) ran a story about it as well.
http://www.thestar.com:80/article/184493
http://www.hamiltonspectator.com/pdfs/20070223/A2.pdf
In any event, I have had my “15 minutes of fame” and it was fun.
Peter Burian
www.peterkburian.com
Posted on 24-Feb-07 at 7:30 am | Permalink