Judge a Book By Its Cover
Judge a Book By its Cover does exactly what it promises to do, with frequently hilarious results.
Dear Gd, please tell me that this cover did not just refer to being pregnant as being “in bloom”. Ack! My eyes! They’re bleeding!
Okay, sheer abhorrence against title aside, who the fuck designed this cover? Why is there a margin of white around three sides? What is going on in the inset (is that a statue of a small purple man with a large purple phallus)? Why are there no ACTUAL WILLOW TREES (in bloom or otherwise) ON THE COVER?!
I leave it to my faithful readers to make the obvious pussy willow joke.
I don’t think Lord Challmond is going to need a bride, seeing as he’s got no penis. I think this title will be going to a distant nephew. But who’d wanna pass on these genes, anyway? If Quentin Tarrantino and Jay Leno had a child, this is what he’d look like.
She looks rather happy, though. Probably thinking, “Whew, I’ll never have to do my wifely duty, seeing as my husband lacks the proper equipment.”
Please tell me this cover doesn’t feature a bunch of Aryan men in jeans standing around a fountain shooting a highly suspicious white substance in the air…Oh, shit, you can’t do that, can you? I’m all for gay erotica, but this picture is a little too much Socialist realism and a little too little Tom of Finland, if you get my drift.